Our anniversary, what can I say? I feel like I haven't been very present for the past couple weeks. I have been keeping to myself. I didn't know how to cope with it. Any of it. I just wanted to be alone With a 4 year old, how is that even possible? You can't get … Continue reading Anniversaries;
"To be needy, what an out of character trait for me. To need you. I don't think I have ever really thought I "needed" you, until I realized I never had you. Now it is all I think about." I started this entry a while ago and never finished it. That is all I had. … Continue reading Time;
Here we are again. Constructive criticism is a funny thing. Here is where we are: We need to make money this week, so that we can make it to work next week. We are stretching left-overs in the fridge, until we are eating the same things all week. You had lost your job, for unknown … Continue reading Damage;
It's thick and fills in me with so much sorrow. I see visions play out in my head. Even when I am trying my hardest to fight it; to see you in some kind of light. I can't; It holds me down and fills me with so much weight. You hurt me. You picked my … Continue reading Syrup;
It's like acid. Pouring slowly like sap onto our day; onto our emotions. It eats slowly away, until there are only holes remaining. Until you can't look at me. Until your face is in your hands. Until you are breaking down. I want so badly to stop it. To place my hands under the sap-like … Continue reading Memories;
Something about when you start falling asleep in your chair at the desk with me. It hurts me. Fills me with so many questions. Last night was the first time since D-Day that you started to fall asleep again. You get more sleep now. You go in later. You have time for breakfast and coffee. … Continue reading Tired;
Sometimes it crosses my mind like light peering through the curtains in the morning. It's a small, subtle thing; however so, it glimmers. It comes in ocean waves. Some small; some very, very large. It swirls all around me. It even consumes me at times. It's a mirror. I see it as I see myself. … Continue reading Leaving;
However lovely the day, it's in the back of my mind. Every time. It creeps in like the quiet blow of cold air when the house is trying to maintain it's temperature. I remember different things every time. The fights, the sex, the routines, the silence, and most of all the rings. It's an eerie … Continue reading Journey;
You broke me from the inside out. Over 7 girls that I had to find on my own because, somehow, you couldn't remember. Over 115 images of JUST Katrina. Let me fill you all in on Katrina. This is an old ex, of only 3 months, who called the police to raid his apartment. She … Continue reading Broken;
The Opaque 