"To be needy, what an out of character trait for me. To need you. I don't think I have ever really thought I "needed" you, until I realized I never had you. Now it is all I think about." I started this entry a while ago and never finished it. That is all I had. … Continue reading Time;
Here we are again. Constructive criticism is a funny thing. Here is where we are: We need to make money this week, so that we can make it to work next week. We are stretching left-overs in the fridge, until we are eating the same things all week. You had lost your job, for unknown … Continue reading Damage;
It's thick and fills in me with so much sorrow. I see visions play out in my head. Even when I am trying my hardest to fight it; to see you in some kind of light. I can't; It holds me down and fills me with so much weight. You hurt me. You picked my … Continue reading Syrup;
It's like acid. Pouring slowly like sap onto our day; onto our emotions. It eats slowly away, until there are only holes remaining. Until you can't look at me. Until your face is in your hands. Until you are breaking down. I want so badly to stop it. To place my hands under the sap-like … Continue reading Memories;
I am starting to feel clear. It's just this week, but I feel clean. I feel like my mind is a bit more clear. I am becoming better at letting go and distancing myself. I enjoy this time alone. It's not ideal. No one want to go through trauma, but today I am appreciating what … Continue reading Improvement;
Something about when you start falling asleep in your chair at the desk with me. It hurts me. Fills me with so many questions. Last night was the first time since D-Day that you started to fall asleep again. You get more sleep now. You go in later. You have time for breakfast and coffee. … Continue reading Tired;
I need space. I realized, rather recently, that I have a hard time with saying no. I am going to spend the rest of this year learning to say no for myself. Learning to self-heal and self-soothe. Learning to trust myself and learning to focus solely on myself an my well-being. I have had to … Continue reading Space;
When the cable is cut from the ski lift and you are thrown up in the air, only to come back down with a better view; you are able to see everything as you come crashing down... But, what if that still wasn't the end? What if there was more? What if, as you came … Continue reading Unthinkable;
Sometimes it crosses my mind like light peering through the curtains in the morning. It's a small, subtle thing; however so, it glimmers. It comes in ocean waves. Some small; some very, very large. It swirls all around me. It even consumes me at times. It's a mirror. I see it as I see myself. … Continue reading Leaving;
This word is heavy. This word is tense. This words fights. This word is cold. This word is bold and underlined. How am I the only one with ideas? You ask me all of the time: Well, what would you like me to do? Well, tell me what I should say! Tell me what to … Continue reading Limits;
The Opaque 