Our anniversary, what can I say? I feel like I haven't been very present for the past couple weeks. I have been keeping to myself. I didn't know how to cope with it. Any of it. I just wanted to be alone With a 4 year old, how is that even possible? You can't get … Continue reading Anniversaries;
Here we are again. Constructive criticism is a funny thing. Here is where we are: We need to make money this week, so that we can make it to work next week. We are stretching left-overs in the fridge, until we are eating the same things all week. You had lost your job, for unknown … Continue reading Damage;
I need space. I realized, rather recently, that I have a hard time with saying no. I am going to spend the rest of this year learning to say no for myself. Learning to self-heal and self-soothe. Learning to trust myself and learning to focus solely on myself an my well-being. I have had to … Continue reading Space;
Sometimes it crosses my mind like light peering through the curtains in the morning. It's a small, subtle thing; however so, it glimmers. It comes in ocean waves. Some small; some very, very large. It swirls all around me. It even consumes me at times. It's a mirror. I see it as I see myself. … Continue reading Leaving;
However lovely the day, it's in the back of my mind. Every time. It creeps in like the quiet blow of cold air when the house is trying to maintain it's temperature. I remember different things every time. The fights, the sex, the routines, the silence, and most of all the rings. It's an eerie … Continue reading Journey;
It was made. However hard. Through it all; the fighting, screaming, crying, drinking myself in to a spiraling downward plane. I did it. I chose you, again; like always. I chose you. Ever in my life had I thought I knew love; I did not. No love could ever measure up to how quickly I … Continue reading Decision;
I found it. I pointed the flash light at it. I put the cards on the table. I forced your eyelids to pry wide open. I forced it out because I deserved it in the very least. It wasn't easy. You lied the whole way through this obstacle of a conversation. You defended yourself. You … Continue reading Truth;
Maybe this was the craziest thing we have done. Maybe it was the least smart. Maybe it was the wrong thing, but we did it and we did it fast. A quiet night on the couch turned into one of my biggest life events. You asked me to marry you; or more or less word … Continue reading Engagement;
There you were, walking up the my apartment door. You are nervous, you are walking fast, but there is a hint of a smile. I am fluttering on the inside. It is big, whatever it it, it is big. We both knew what it was; or maybe it was only me. Either way, this feeling … Continue reading The beginning;
The Opaque 